Gather 'round young lads and I'll tell you a story
About a brave young man and his pursuit of glory
He calls himself 'God' for some kind of kick
And he's got a little friend who's named Rick

Of course I could sing about him for hours
That would cause him to unleash his powers
If you think I'm joking you'll just have to wait
He may already be using you as bait

'Cause he's Slater
He may be obsessed with Sailor Moon

'Cause he's Slater
But he'll tell you he's never read Dune

'Cause he's Slater
He get's two hours of sleep a night

'Cause he's Slater
And I've never seen him in a fight

He drinks coffee like it runs from the walls
And will never return someone's calls
There may be few in which to confide
Who also have the Dungeon Master's Guide

Don't try to fool him
Or see what fool's him
Don't try to make a fool out of him
Cause you'll just be staring right through him

'Cause he's Slater
He may be obsessed with Sailor Moon

'Cause he's Slater
But he'll tell you he's never read Dune

'Cause he's Slater
He get's two hours of sleep a night

'Cause he's Slater
And I've never seen him in a fight

Don't ask me why I'm telling you these things
It's just so weird, considering what he brings
But I am forgetting what is most important of all
And that's that he is so damn tall

He goes for the weird girls not exactly Park Avenue
But that's O.K. man because I go for them too

'Cause he's Slater
He may be obsessed with Sailor Moon

'Cause he's Slater
But he'll tell you he's never read Dune

'Cause he's Slater
He get's two hours of sleep a night

'Cause he's Slater
And I've never seen him in a fight

But my remarks just don't really count
Because it's obvious when you see him about
He used to lumber and have a fit
But now he's hard to miss when you think about it

His parents stopped drawing marks on the wall
When they realized he's 77 and a half inches tall

'Cause he's Slater
He may be obsessed with Sailor Moon

'Cause he's Slater
But he'll tell you he's never read Dune

'Cause he's Slater
He get's two hours of sleep a night

'Cause he's Slater
And I've never seen him in a fight

He's really tall.

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